It’s 5:00 p.m,. and you’ve finally wrapped up with your work for the day, now it’s time to get home and get the kids fed, finish homework, bathe them and get them to bed. Now, it’s 8:30 p.m., and you have a pile of laundry to do, your bathrooms have a solid layer of grime on basically every surface and there isn’t enough food in the pantry to pack a decent meal for your kids’ lunches tomorrow because you haven’t had a chance to get to the grocery store this week.
This scenario is one most moms have experienced.
There is a toxic narrative that moms are somehow supposed to effectively manage all of these responsibilities because it’s just daily life. Of course, it hasn’t always been this way, but times have changed and we all have to adapt, even if it means tirelessly trying to accomplish what feels like the impossible every day. It is exhausting.
When this is just the day-to-day baseline, an increased workload at home or in the office can wreak havoc on this already-delicate balance. This has the potential to lead to burnout. To avoid this, it’s important for moms to remain self-aware both at work and at home so that when the amount of responsibilities starts to creep into the unmanageable zone, they can make adjustments.
If you feel like your workload has become too heavy, here are some tips for restoring some balance in your life (and possibly even tip the scale in your favor).
There are, inevitably, going to be times in your career when you have too much work and not nearly enough hours in the day. When you know there is an end date because it’s a short-term project or initiative, it’s often a little easier to accept. However, when overwork becomes a daily expectation, it’s no longer healthy or sustainable.
There is a belief that if we just try hard enough, push ourselves and refuse to give up that we can accomplish the impossible. While this is a very motivating concept, there are times it can also be problematic because you might internalize your struggle and assume it’s a “you problem” instead of looking at the situation as a whole. So, if you are a good employee who delivers quality work, but you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t just accept the idea that you’re not trying hard enough. Zoom out to see the big picture so that you can determine if what you’re feeling is a result of an external factor. If it is, you may be able to manage the situation by setting healthy boundaries or by talking to your supervisor and/or team.
Maybe work isn’t your issue at all, it’s all of your responsibilities at home that are mounting and getting to be too much for you to manage. This is something a lot of working parents deal with because there is only so much you can reasonably accomplish outside of a 40+ hour work week. On average, parents spend seven hours a week on just cleaning their home, and that’s before grocery shopping, cooking, parenting responsibilities, social obligations and meeting everyone’s basic human needs. It’s no wonder why the workload at home quickly becomes unmanageable.
Making things a little easier at home will require you to let go of some control, possibly lower your expectations and ask for help. This might be really tough for you if you like things done a certain way or have perfectionist tendencies. However, in order to lighten your load, you have to be willing to let some things go.
Even if you’d love to take on that extra work project or you shudder at the thought of your kindergartener trying to fold their own clothes, maintaining balance requires give and take. The slide into burnout is fast, and it takes a long time to climb your way out of it, so it’s best to try your hardest to avoid it altogether. On its best day, working motherhood comes with an unreasonable amount of work, so talk to your boss, let your family help you and remember to go easy on yourself while you’re at it.
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